Certifiable

I wish I could blame my protracted absence from this blog on madly studying for today's big test - Zertifikat Deutsch.

Unfortunately, I can't, because I didn't.

I wish I could wax lyrical about the Grammatik and how effortlessly I penned that reply to my 'friend' - full of coherent advice about what she should do with her lazy, football watching brother.

Unfortunately, I can't, because I didn't.

I wish I could regale you, beloved Internet, with hilarious stories about how I deftly steered the stilted set of 3 conversation exercises with my fellow Prüflinger in the speaking exam, giving each of us the opportunity to display our verbal wares.

Unfortunately I can't, because I didn't.

Did I pass? Probably.

By much? No.

You live and learn, Internet - you live and learn.

In da hood

I have developed a bad habit of listening in on people's conversations on public transport. While eavesdropping is not considered a polite hobby, I justify it to myself by thinking that it is good 'hörverstehen' practice.

Normally, I don't understand a lot of what is said, but yesterday I had the pleasure of listening to two 14 year old boys whose mother tongue is 'Merkin.

It was all 'dawg', 'motherf@#$er', 'bitches' and contained very little agreement between subject and verb with respect to number or tense.

I managed to keep a straight face for most of the journey, but after a particularly colourful passage of conversation, I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore.

They got off at the next stop.

Which was a shame, really - the conversation was just getting interesting.

The movement of fresh air is deadly

So say the majority of my language class. They are convinced that my recent bout of the common cold was brought about by not dressing warmly enough and all that poisonous fresh air to which I am exposed whilst riding my bike.

I missed a couple of days of school last week due to feeling utterly awful. When I returned to class, there was a firm consensus and a fair bit of tut-tutting about my general disregard for just how deadly moving air can be. I was half expecting someone to suggest a course of leaches to rid my body of its ill humour.

I have my own theory on how I fell victim to this pernicious illness. Shall I tell you? I got sick because for the last couple of weeks I sat in a stuffy classroom surrounded by a couple of people who thought it was appropriate to come to class when they were sick. One in particular, I’ll just call him Typhoid Mary, sneezed, sniffed and coughed his way through the past two weeks of lessons.

International Love Story

At some point during today's lesson wedged in between Adjektiven Deklination and Konjunktiv II our teacher asked each of us to tell the stories of how we meet our significant others.

We had it all - high school sweethearts, arranged marriages, love over the internet, star-crossed lovers (thankfully without the deaths) and a surprising (to me) number of cousins who had married - I thought that was the purview of royal families.

Our class is very formal and for many of us German is our only shared language, so getting to know each other is not so easy. These little glimpses into the lives of the people with whom I spend 20 hours per week was a delightful treat.

Meine Neue Sprachschule

Letzte Woche habe ich eine neue Deutschkurs angefangen. Bis hierher klappt es gut. Die Lehrerin ist toll und erklärt alles sehr schlicht.

Die Leute von meiner Klasse kommen aus viele Länder: Irak, Morokko, Romanien, Polen, Afganistan, Pakistan und Schottland. Ein paar sind ein bisschen lästig, weil sie immer zusammen sprechen sind. Aber, meistens sind freundlich.

What I meant to say....
Last week I started a new German course. So far it is going well. The teacher is great and explains everything very simply.

The people in my class come from many countries: Iraq, Morocco, Romania, Poland, Afganistan, Pakistan and Scotland. A few are a bit annoying because they talk all the time. Most are friendly though.

Corrections gratefully received!

Sprache Woche 2008

All this week for your reading pleasure I will be posting auf Deutsch in honour of Language Week 2008.

Enjoy the ensuing hilarity and poor grammar.

It's a long way to the shop if you want a sausage roll

(the title is only funny if you are Australian)

I went to a party last night.

As it was a party consisting of my language course friends, we each brought along a 'traditional' dish from our respective homelands. After much gnashing of teeth and wishing I was from somewhere that had a readily identifiable national dish, I got down to thinking about what would qualify as traditional Australian cuisine.

Our hosts did not have a BBQ, so my initial instinct for incinerated lamb chops was quickly thwarted.

I weighed my options carefully and tried my very best to channel the spirit of Margaret Fulton circa 1972 (devils on horseback or pigs in a blanket anyone?).

So I made a list of possibilities:

• Vegemite sandwiches - quickly dismissed as lazy, and let's face it, if you weren't raised on the stuff, it really isn't an appetising prospect.
• ANZAC biscuits - already made these for this group and while they were a good option for a day time party, not appropriate for a soiree.
• Lamingtons - lead time too long and I'm likely to eat them all before the party. Also, do not go well with wine.
• Pavlova - don't have a mix-master, also too hard to transport on the tram.
  
• Fairy bread - come on now, that's just being silly.
  

Leaving me with the time honoured option of party pies and sausage rolls. Brilliant.

Prepared a batch of mini sausage rolls and took them along to the party and heated them up in the oven.

One thing I did fail to take into account - most people at the party were vegetarians.

(Yes, I know, like most iconic Australian things, most of these were probably invented in New Zealand).

Tea and Sympathy

Eventhough our Deutschkurs has finished, our little band of intrepid language aquirers have decided that we like each other enough to keep meeting once a week at a cafe for coffee and conversation (in Deutsch of course), or tea and sympathy - or perhaps a little of both. We are all in the same boat - we don't know many people and are looking to expand our circle of friends and improve our language skills.

The last time I was in a similar(ish) situation - new town, not knowing anyone, I had just finished university and moved to Darwin to start my first proper job. Darwin could possibly qualify as the friendliest town in the world. Within a week or so, I had received phone calls from friends-of-friends-of-friends inviting me somewhere - there were even squabbles between people within the same circle of friends as to who had befriended me first (I love a good bidding war). Darwin was way easier than Mainz as conversations were conducted in english, but I don't miss living in the tropics - 50 degrees north suits me just fine.

Confusitive Case

You will be pleased to hear that I passed the 'abschluss test' for my Deutschkurs. I can hear your collective sighs of relief.

I understand just enough German to be dangerous....they'll never know what hit them. My verbs continue to be all over the shop, and my grasp on the correct usage of personal pronouns remains tenuous, but I'm ready to go forth and converse - badly.

So, if in the coming weeks you see confused and perplexed locals wandering around, don't be alarmed, I've probably just tried to engage them in conversation. I'm sure they'll recover - eventually.

Overcapitalised

I really enjoy the challenge of learning a new language. It is bemusing, perplexing, and at times, frustrating. At the moment I'm having a love/hate relationship with the requirement that all nouns must be capitalised.

I put this slightly bipolar attitude down to my laziness. I resent that when I write in German I have to take care to begin all nouns with a capital letter. On the other hand, it does offer the novice/complete hack a helping hand when reading - the nouns stand out like beacons and I find this helpful in untwisting the unfamiliar syntax.

Just don't get me started on separable verbs.

Lektion Eins

I'm giving myself a big tick on this item in my new year's resolution list.

I started German lessons today at the VHS. First impressions are good - the teacher is engaging and my fellow students seem quite fun, so it should be a good way to spend the next 5 weeks.

The class consists of people from a delightful array of countries: Spain, Surinam, France, Mexico, Brazil, Romania, Bulgaria, and in lane 8 representing Australia - me.

We kicked off with the traditional interview and introduce your partner to the rest of the class game - and it seems most people like riding bicycles and swimming - except for my partner who told me his hobby was storytelling (Geschichten erzählen). I'm so going to sit next to him tomorrow, maybe he'll tell me a story.